He's too much himself to be disturbed by it. He's too much a fighter to know that's exactly what you do. But that's never been what he wants for Eileen. It gives him more than just a pang to know that what he wants and what is have grown along very different lines.

"And you worry about that," he says softly after a moment. "You worry that it means you wanted to hurt him."

It doesn't, of course. But it can be a sickening feeling that's hard to dodge.