Surprise helped. It got both Eileen's brows lifting just slightly, which started her mind whirling back in its old paths again. This was Jake. Jake was someone who would listen; someone who would actually try to understand. The words didn't need to be perfect--they needed to be real.
Elisha and Rachel's words clattered briefly through her thoughts before falling aside. Her shoulders flexed briefly before properly hunching in on themselves, arms crossing her own chest to pull in just a bit protectively.
"A few reasons, really." Her voice sounds better in her own ears now; less tight, more certain of itself. "It's something I was fairly confident I could win in, to start. Being smaller isn't such a disadvantage, and Lancelot started teaching me-- ages ago."
Which had been infinitely normalizing, until she'd seen blood and felt her hand twisting the blade.
The thought tempered her speech, slower and more deliberate as her eyes dropped again to their feet. "And it's a good strategy, second. If you start working your way up with-- safe things--" and surely Jake had been in the Deck long enough to know that 'safe' substituted in for 'nonviolent' pervasively "--then people think you can't hack it. And you start getting Challenged by people who think they can unseat you. You can get-- stuck. Backed into a corner. And I know that's-- half silly because it's half about pride, but-- it's still the sort of thing that necessitates watching your back. If you don't start out with a strong showing that you can be as dangerous as anyone else, especially when you're young and still-- small, other Cards will push at you. Challenge you to harder, more dangerous things. Or Counter you in something-- vicious."
She did try to drag her eyes up, briefly, but they couldn't help falling to the ground again.
"I don't want to... keep going in this vein, you know? I want to do the rest in-- chess, and dance, and-- and help make that the new normal. It shouldn't be that nearly everyone starts with knives. But..." The lift of her shoulders was less a shrug and more a further tensing in. "...but it's still what kills people, around here. It's still something-- everyone ought to know. And it's still something you can get in trouble for not-- proving."
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timeasmymeasure
they could Challenge simultaneously in something innocuous. probably horses.
Date: 2016-03-31 12:46 am (UTC)Elisha and Rachel's words clattered briefly through her thoughts before falling aside. Her shoulders flexed briefly before properly hunching in on themselves, arms crossing her own chest to pull in just a bit protectively.
"A few reasons, really." Her voice sounds better in her own ears now; less tight, more certain of itself. "It's something I was fairly confident I could win in, to start. Being smaller isn't such a disadvantage, and Lancelot started teaching me-- ages ago."
Which had been infinitely normalizing, until she'd seen blood and felt her hand twisting the blade.
The thought tempered her speech, slower and more deliberate as her eyes dropped again to their feet. "And it's a good strategy, second. If you start working your way up with-- safe things--" and surely Jake had been in the Deck long enough to know that 'safe' substituted in for 'nonviolent' pervasively "--then people think you can't hack it. And you start getting Challenged by people who think they can unseat you. You can get-- stuck. Backed into a corner. And I know that's-- half silly because it's half about pride, but-- it's still the sort of thing that necessitates watching your back. If you don't start out with a strong showing that you can be as dangerous as anyone else, especially when you're young and still-- small, other Cards will push at you. Challenge you to harder, more dangerous things. Or Counter you in something-- vicious."
She did try to drag her eyes up, briefly, but they couldn't help falling to the ground again.
"I don't want to... keep going in this vein, you know? I want to do the rest in-- chess, and dance, and-- and help make that the new normal. It shouldn't be that nearly everyone starts with knives. But..." The lift of her shoulders was less a shrug and more a further tensing in. "...but it's still what kills people, around here. It's still something-- everyone ought to know. And it's still something you can get in trouble for not-- proving."