[for Jayden] cara mio addio
Nov. 23rd, 2014 05:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
She wakes up most mornings fully convinced of the fact that she's done with silly, stupid mistakes. She ends a statistically significant number of days having managed to maintain that in the most important arenas.
But it's not every day.
And it's certainly not every night. There are still nights when the idea of sitting at home and doing work drives her up a wall--when the idea of going to see her brother for a 'classy' evening of wasting money on something 'useful' like the arts feels just as terrible as sitting home alone. There are nights when she asks the driver to wait around the corner and pretend he doesn't know where she's going so she can actually breathe deep something other than the rigidity of the life she's been building since Elisha returned and got her back on track.
There can't be anything so wrong with it, surely. It rarely, if ever, bleeds back over into her days. She always drags herself out of bed in the morning, whether she'd fallen into it at 10pm or 4am the night before. She always sits through classes and shows up for work with the same fierce, determined smile. She barely ever thinks of what might have happened the night before once she's got herself set for forward motion again.
Admittedly, sometimes she gets texts at work from numbers she definitely hadn't gotten at the university or the lab or any of her brother's little get-togethers. Jayden's number certainly didn't come from any vetted point of contact. It surprises her, really, how easy it is to extend something of her daytime self to a nighttime number. It's not a line she's really ever blurred before.
But he's coming to the aquarium. She's invited him. Almost like sleepwalking, she's explained to her supervisor that she wants a floor shift out in the actual building rather than holed away doing research. Idly scanning the crowd at the building's tall cement entrance, she wonders vaguely if she's even recognizable like this--flat shoes, hair tied tightly back, barely a stitch of makeup on and her wits obviously about her.
It's entirely possible he'll just walk straight past her. There are large signs for the penguins near the door, after all.
But it's not every day.
And it's certainly not every night. There are still nights when the idea of sitting at home and doing work drives her up a wall--when the idea of going to see her brother for a 'classy' evening of wasting money on something 'useful' like the arts feels just as terrible as sitting home alone. There are nights when she asks the driver to wait around the corner and pretend he doesn't know where she's going so she can actually breathe deep something other than the rigidity of the life she's been building since Elisha returned and got her back on track.
There can't be anything so wrong with it, surely. It rarely, if ever, bleeds back over into her days. She always drags herself out of bed in the morning, whether she'd fallen into it at 10pm or 4am the night before. She always sits through classes and shows up for work with the same fierce, determined smile. She barely ever thinks of what might have happened the night before once she's got herself set for forward motion again.
Admittedly, sometimes she gets texts at work from numbers she definitely hadn't gotten at the university or the lab or any of her brother's little get-togethers. Jayden's number certainly didn't come from any vetted point of contact. It surprises her, really, how easy it is to extend something of her daytime self to a nighttime number. It's not a line she's really ever blurred before.
But he's coming to the aquarium. She's invited him. Almost like sleepwalking, she's explained to her supervisor that she wants a floor shift out in the actual building rather than holed away doing research. Idly scanning the crowd at the building's tall cement entrance, she wonders vaguely if she's even recognizable like this--flat shoes, hair tied tightly back, barely a stitch of makeup on and her wits obviously about her.
It's entirely possible he'll just walk straight past her. There are large signs for the penguins near the door, after all.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-23 05:44 am (UTC)But it's also a slope that's got Eileen beaming, fingers squeezing at his wrist.]
See? Same thing. Besides, no offense? But sharks and octopodes are about a thousand times cooler than the mechanics of resource management.
blech again the holidays stole me away, back now~
Date: 2015-01-01 09:22 pm (UTC)Her smile is infectious, besides.]
I bet they are.
[And he's going to press his luck and try to slip his fingers through hers. Just, you know, as an experiment.]
No worries! And happy 2015! \o/
Date: 2015-01-02 02:59 pm (UTC)[Since it's clearly for science--and, much more, since they've passed into the slightly darkened room full of octopods and squids--Eileen's fingers twine loosely in with Jayden's. She'll realize she's still technically at work soon, probably, but for now she's just got her hand squeezing tight around his.]
Like-- look. I know designing things is neat, but-- look at these guys.
[There are many fewer kids crowding the giant Pacific octopus' tank than there had been around the sharks, making the large creature busily engaged in tossing about a Rubix cube much easier to see.]
thanks, you too!
Date: 2015-01-04 04:38 pm (UTC)Whoooa. Why's he got a Rubix cube?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-05 02:50 am (UTC)There's no need to unpackage that now. Her mind is much better used at the moment for talking about one of the only things she loves more than the sharks they were just watching.]
Because he's got a big ol' brain on him. [Technical science term, clearly.] Most incredibly intelligent animals that are kept in captivity get ridiculously bored, you know? We do a lot of cycling though different toys and puzzles for them to keep them from going completely neurotic in such small tanks. Live prey helps, but things like the cube that take time to understand are great for keeping them happy.
no subject
Date: 2015-01-05 05:41 am (UTC)[He had no idea octopi were that smart. Congrats, Eileen, Jayden's already learning so much under your tutelage.]
Can he solve it?
[Aren't Rubix cubes supposed to be notoriously difficult to figure out? Are you tell him that an octopus might be smarter than a human, what is this witchcraft.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-05 01:53 pm (UTC)[There's amazingly distracting properties to talking about this sort of thing. It stops her from thinking as her fingers return to lace properly with his again.]
And we'll have to find something else to keep his brain twitching. They're a lot of work to keep up with.
no subject
Date: 2015-01-07 12:13 am (UTC)I really didn't know they were that smart.
no subject
Date: 2015-01-07 02:26 pm (UTC)[Which is more than he probably wanted to know about octopus brains--and yet, barely the tip of the iceberg of knowledge Eileen is clearly ready to impart.
Except for the whole being-at-work thing, which has finally sunk back into her own mammalian brain.] I'm rambling. 'm sorry. [Hopefully there's a better apology in the smack of her lips briefly firm against his cheek.] Will you be okay on your own for like-- half an hour while I wrap things up here?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-08 01:28 am (UTC)I think I can entertain myself, yeah. Should I meet you somewhere?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-08 04:08 pm (UTC)Right out front. Same place. I'll be as quick as I can, promise.
no subject
Date: 2015-01-09 05:01 am (UTC)Okay, cool. See you then.
no subject
Date: 2015-01-09 05:22 am (UTC)She leaves him with another tiny squeeze of his wrist--and she does seem to rush, if her slight breathlessness when she comes to find him again is to be trusted. Then again, the breathlessness might be for the apparently superheroic transformation--it's slightly possible that she ran into a phone booth in her uniform and then popped back out like this: hair down and tousled, shirt back to low cut and clinging, heels making her a more respectable height and makeup actually thrown on with a light touch.
He won't object to her greeting him by grabbing his hand again, right?]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-11 05:22 am (UTC)Hey. You look great.
no subject
Date: 2015-01-11 05:51 am (UTC)[What with the uniforms being daytime respectable and all. So ridiculous.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-11 09:41 pm (UTC)[He follows easily, threading his fingers in between hers.]
Where do you wanna go now?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-12 01:54 pm (UTC)Pretty sure you should take me to a fancy dinner.
[She's probably joking. Probably.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-15 05:15 am (UTC)For what, seafood? Maybe some sushi?
[Totally appropriate after spending an afternoon at an aquarium.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-15 03:34 pm (UTC)Thankfully, this isn't an actual bumping up for more than half a heartbeat. Her bright laugh probably makes that clear, even when underlined with her free hand coming to smack him lightly in the shoulder.]
Jerk. We should grab some burgers, though. It'll be a while before anywhere fun opens. Unless-- [She glances up at the buildings lining the street.] --is your dorm around here?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-16 12:56 am (UTC)Burgers are good.
[Uh oh. Sweating intensifies.]
Uh. No, not really. You?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-16 01:38 am (UTC)[Delaying the inevitable once again. Bullet dodging seemed to be Jayden's superpower today.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-16 05:40 am (UTC)[Yeah, he's lucky like that. The problem with trying to dodge bullets, though, is that it only takes one to ruin everything.]
What's good around here?
no subject
Date: 2015-01-17 02:37 pm (UTC)[Maybe there won't be any bullets. Maybe this is when the coasting starts.]
We can even have nice, sober conversation on the way.
[Or lots of bullets, maybe.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-21 12:34 am (UTC)I can do sober conversations.
[They talked about fish for like ten minutes, he can totally do this.]
no subject
Date: 2015-01-21 12:57 am (UTC)Perfect. We'll start with embarrassing middle names and work up to secret hopes and dreams, yeah?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:ugh sorry for delay, rl smacked me in the face
From:as happens now and then \o/ hope things are calmer now!
From:i can only hope XD
From:it's a lifelong hope, pretty sure
From: